Dealing with success, coping with disappointment.

Weigh in number two. Two full weeks into weight loss and I've lost 2 lbs this week. Two pounds is not an insignificant number and I should be happy to not have those two pounds still on my body but I can't stop the slight feeling of disappointment. I had a really, REALLY good week this week. I measured properly, I tracked everything and I chose the healthiest foods. Lots of fruit and veg, lots of lean meat and fish and yet I only get two pounds off.

This is one of the problems that comes around with weight loss. We are all so eager to change, and do it quickly, that we forget the primary function of the process we are undergoing. This is not some kind of race to the finish line, the goal here is to make healthy decisions that will result in a healthier body over all. I've been talking with my best friend over the last few days as she's visiting with me and we've both stressed the over arching importance of striving for health rather than 'skinniness'. My doctors continuously tell me that my weight will eventually play a role in my health, even though currently my blood pressure, cholesterol, blood glucose and Vo2 max are spot on perfect. The only glitch in my otherwise healthy body is my weight. Certainly there are times when I can feel it. I can feel the weight in my back and on my knees, when I injure myself it takes longer to recuperate and I sometimes feel sluggish and lethargic when I should be active and energised. It is particularly important that I continue to remember this as I am not currently (nor will I be for several months yet) in a position where I can 'reward' myself with clothes/shoes etc. for a thinner body. The ultimate goal may include a desire to wear nice clothes and feel comfortable in higher heels but, at this point anyway, that most definitely needs to take a back seat in this journey. Otherwise there is a risk that I will get down on myself for not being there yet when I really need to celebrate the 'minor' goals in between. 

And so, it is the loss of 2 lbs here and there which will eventually get me to the position where I can be energised and active and can, finally, be fully classed as 'healthy'. 

In the face of disappointment (and trust me, had I gained I really don't know if I'd have been able to stand up to what I'm about to say) it is important to rise against the issue and just keep going. Nine times in 10 by the time you've got back into the swing of things the issue will resolve itself. It's just a case of not being disheartened. I also believe that on some level of being goal oriented, an extra pound this week would really have done wonders for my self-esteem. At that point I would have lost a stone and I think somewhere in my head I would have felt more like I was actually absorbing this process into my life. On this level it's easy to see where my trepidation lies as I return to university from the Easter break this Saturday. I've had times during university where I've specifically stayed away from losing weight because of the potential pit falls in losing weight in catered halls. I think on some level I'd just feel that bit more comfortable with continuing at university if there'd been a bigger difference this week.

Regardless, I refuse to be held down so early on. If I allow myself to be deterred now then I will be straight back at stage one and will have to go through the issues all over again. And so, dear readers, until next week. I'm assuming that the next 10 weeks will be make it hard to keep going but I do not wish to look back on this time next year and wish that I'd kept going because things could have been so much different. I suppose, ultimately, learning to deal with minor disappointments will make the victory at the end that much sweeter.