Dear people of the bloggersphere this post (probably) will have no allegorical meaning. It is not one where I try to explain a particular reaction to a societal truth. It is well and truly just a demonstration of success. I have reached another goal. As of last night at 5:28 pm I have lost two stone and one pound or 29 lbs or over 13 kilos. I am four pounds away from my 10% weight loss target, have dropped 4.53 points on the BMI scale and I feel great.
In other news, I beat my personal best in the gym today and look forward to the ache in my chest and gluteus maximus (my bottom) sometime tomorrow. The pain will probably arrive just as I'm about to sit down and I'll be stuck hovering in mid-air for a few seconds waiting for the strength to let myself fall (not so gracefully) into a seat.
But back to the weight loss. When I stepped on that scale last night and saw the number drop I felt empowered and capable. I new that I was over half way to that 50 pound certificate and knew, well and truly, that this is it. In conjunction with the exercise and my overall change in perception, I will never be the weight I was again. As I added two more beads to my 'pounds lost' jar I knew that I eventually will see an empty bottom on the 'pounds to go' and, in no small part, I have to give credit to this blog. You see, as I think back to this stage in my weight loss journey 4 years ago I can't remember in all that great detail how I felt at the good time,s at the bad and I can't remember what those things were that pushed me through. Reading over things that have happened in the past few months, reading the emails I've received from people like you reading this and looking at all of my beautiful spreadsheets/graphs is what will ultimately push me to succeed. I know when I have a bad week that it's not the end of the world and that it's happened before and I got through it. I just need to keep pushing.
I know also that it'll get harder as I lose the weight, it simply does and there's not much I can do about that, but I know that the end result will be worth it and that making this journey now, whilst I still KNOW I can do it, is what I absolutely must do.
And so, the weight watchers Facebook page reminded me of something today. The topic today was 'what was your Eureka! moment?' and I read through all of the comments about looking at holiday/wedding photos or wanting to be fitter for their children and I finally found one which resonated with me. This has been a hard concept for me to define so finding another person who shared something similar made me feel that 'yes, this IS a valid reason' :
'Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that.'
People have asked me why I started weight watchers or entered into this program of losing weight and I've always struggled to answer, but it really was as simple as sitting in bed on a Tuesday evening and going 'I'm going to lose weight' and so I did. I just felt like a change, a change for the better and knew that this feeling, this simple, instantaneous decision was the one that would get me through, rather than weeks and weeks of 'thinking' about it. I just 'do' and will continue till goal and beyond.
I didn't realise how close to 10% you are - congratulations! We've got to celebrate sometime soon. Can you see a difference yet or is it mostly how you feel?
ReplyDeleteDanke! I still can't see a difference, but you'll remember more than anyone that I didn't really see a difference last time. I can tell bits and pieces like 'I can see a muscle here where it was covered in fat before' and can feel things (like my ever popular obsession with collar bones and shoulders...) so it's mostly overall feeling. I can also 'feel' my clothes being looser (some of them WAY too loose) and I can see things becoming a different 'shape'. Who knows when it'll properly hit me!
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