Myth numero uno: Where is all the cheese?!

As I mentioned in the post before last, I will be running a series of 'myth busters'. These are misconceptions about weight loss, and being overweight in general, that I think are fairly common and should therefore be addressed. Not everyone has had to lose weight and I would never begrudge anyone for this. However, something that I think is true (and I've had friends who have always had healthy weights back this up) is that when you have never had an issue with weight you don't know what it's like. Some people will try to assert something that is a truth for themselves and that's fine. It is important however that people realise that this is ultimately unhelpful because everyone is different and unique and everyone will respond differently to a particular idea. Others will try to be supportive but fall down at certain hurdles because they don't know how to respond or are worried about insulting people by asking questions. All of these are fine. The intention of this series is to try and help knock down some of the myths and (hopefully) clear up a few questions that people may have.

SO, here we go.

Changing your 'diet' means that you can't have certain foods...ALSO KNOWN AS
WHERE IS ALL THE CHEESE?

'Do you like cheese?'
'I sure do. My favourite's Gouda.'

The inspiration for this post ultimately came from my friend Piers. It was in the first week back at university after the Easter break and I'd been on weight watchers for just under three weeks. We were eating dinner and at some point he turned and asked 'don't you miss the cheese?' Now, I should explain that I am a cheese fanatic. I adore the stuff. In fact, when I was 15-16 and suffering with depression I made cheese (and my pet cat) my entire reason to live. Melodramatic statement? Of course; but it worked, and just about demonstrates my absolute love for cheese. I am a cheese person. I believe there are two types of people in this world 1) the chocolate lover and 2) the cheese lover. Argue with me all you will but that's my belief. I am most certainly in the second category.
All right, you get it. I love cheese.

I realised that in this statement from Piers, the one you may have forgotten already because I went on a tirade about cheese, he was demonstrating a very common issue. The ultimate discrepancy between what it is to 'be on a Diet' and what it is to CHANGE one's diet. Now, I'm not going to bang on about things here because that's a secondary topic which I'll discuss in another myth buster but, this is something that plagues many people who have never had a significant amount of weight to lose.

As I mentioned way back when, when (like me) you have over half of your body weight to lose a simple 'Diet' won't work. You'll lose weight initially but it'll become more and more unmanageable and it will mostly come back on afterwards. Diets (with a big D) restrict what you eat. This is why Piers thought that I was no longer permitted cheese.

When you are changing your diet and lifestyle, you cannot simply cut out food. We've all done this. We'll say 'today, I am giving up crisps because they are bad for me. Never again will I eat a crisp'. What happens after this? Of course. The ONLY thing that you want is a crisp. You would sell your first born child for that crisp. If it were a choice between your left arm and a crisp, the crisp would win. And so, you eat that crisp and then make yourself feel terrible for eating that crisp before vowing never to eat another...as you finish the entire pack.

So you see; if I were to tell myself that I could never again have cheese, I would have eaten the entire block of Wensleydale with apricots within the hour. I would be right back where I started again and this cycle would be on repeat for the rest of my life.

And this is the crucial thing. I am making changes for the rest of my life and in life, shit happens. Being totally inflexible in what you will or will not eat, will not make weight loss/maintenance any easier. At the end of the day, we still have to live. One of the most important skills to learn is not to simply say 'no' every time temptation comes your way. The key skill here is in evaluating whether you really, truly, want/need that particular product. If the answer is yes, I need my hunk of cheese, HAVE THE CHEESE. Just not the entire wheel of brie. If the answer is no, then you can say no and not feel as if you are being punished for losing weight. Ultimately, we must do as the French do. 'Everything in moderation. Including moderation'. Live and enjoy this life. And if that means accepting the slice of cheese at the end of a meal, by all means do so. Life will go on, and it is not the end when the Vacherin meets the cracker.