A (sort of) myth buster: The truth about plus-sized clothing

This post came about as a result of a conversation with my friend Maddy. We were going out for dinner last night (Bella Italia- it was lovely and I'd done an insane amount of planning before hand so had a great meal) after she'd finished revising for the day. At about 5:30 she came to my room and declared that no more revision was happening and that her brain was going to turn to mush if she did any more. To change the subject she asked a seemingly innocent question:
'When are you going to get your ball dress missus!?' My hall of residence holds an annual summer ball which is happening in just under a month's time. Last year I'd bought my ball dress in Monsoon in March, so you can understand why she was so adamant that I should get on top of the situation and at least start thinking about my ball dress.

Me in my ball dress last year

I grumbled some excuses for why I hadn't yet started looking as she sat down at my computer and started a hunt so fastidious that it could only be completed by this woman. Then another question:
'Flo, where do you actually buy your clothes?'. And this is where the purpose of this post really comes in.

Maddy had not realised that I couldn't necessarily just go into a shop and pick up something, in my size, off the hanger. Surely, it should just be as simple as going into a shop and finding things in your size. Her hunt on the internet proved to her what I already knew. Unfortunately, this is not the case. You need specialist shops and more and more of these are closing down as a result of pressure from online sales. So that is issue number one. I hate internet shopping. I don't like not being able to try things on first. I know I can simply return it but it's such a faff and, as a plus sized woman, it's so hit and miss all of the time. The cut may be wrong, the fabric too stiff etc. and you won't know this until it arrives. I hate the worry of getting a bag of clothing only for all of it to look ridiculous on me. It shouldn't be that hard.

We entered into a conversation about the lack of choice. She was shocked when looking at one of the websites that I usually frequent to find all of six, not at all attractive, frumpy dresses. No wonder I don't buy new clothes all that often. I said that being overweight certainly makes your options more limited. Maddy tried to assure me that it wasn't all that much easier further down the scale but I'm afraid that simply isn't true. You have more options in the first place. There are more shops to go into, clothes are designed with you in mind and you don't have the terrifying thought of going into a shop; trying something on, finding it doesn't fit and then (and this is the killer) finding that this is the absolute biggest size they do. You feel like a failure. I'm fat, therefore I am not allowed nice things. I once again used the example of Monsoon. I love monsoon, I love the clothes but the absolute biggest size is a 22 and even this is restricted within the options. I must give them credit, in general that only make 22s in styles that will work on a size 22 but you can't help but feel like you're being pushed aside. If you're a size 12, you can walk into any Monsoon and you will find something that will flatter your shape. More options means even if you don't like a particular cut, there is one for you.

It's not just a case of wearing bigger clothes. It's a battlefield out there. Plus size areas in 'normal' shops are relegated to the back with the maternity wear. It feels like you're going into a back room where only the naughty children go. I'd even relate it as far as going into the chokey from Roal Dahl's Matilda or going into an X rated film shop.

The plus sized department of Next...

Don't even get me started on the shoes. If you have wide feet you practically get put in orthopaedic footwear. How dare you not have standard fit feet? There was a point about 5 years ago where it all seemed to be changing for plus size clothing but we seem to be taking a step back now and that is incredibly disappointing.

And so, I've put off the hunt for my ball dress for months. I argue now that it's because I'm losing weight and don't want to get a dress that's too large but the truth is I simply don't want the embarrassment of not finding something nice. I wish I could go shopping with my friends and try things on with them, especially for big events like this. This has happened for every ball/wedding/party I've ever gone to. I'll sit and watch my gorgeous thin friends try on dress after dress as I watch the bags. It's enough to make you want to wear a bin liner. At least that doesn't discriminate by size.