Thank you and good night.

Right, ladies and gentlemen. I know, I know. You've been stressing out because last week I had lost 98lbs and here I am, 48 hours after my weigh in and I still haven't updated you. I know what you're all thinking. She gained. Let's go drink on her behalf because that sucks.

No.

The truth is, I lost four pounds. FOUR POUNDS. Which means, ladies and gentlemen, that I have lost 102 lbs total. That's 46 kilos or 7 stone 4 lbs. I have lost triple digits. That's mental. A few years ago, Nicole Richie was basically shat on in all of the glossy magazines for inviting people to a party with a 100 lb weight limit. So technically, the fat that I've lost is now too heavy to have been allowed in. Shucks.

In case you didn't believe me...

So, let's flash back a few days shall we. You'll all remember that last Wednesday I was thrilled to bits to have got to my 7 stone goal. Whilst that is certainly true what you need to see was my little brain thinking 'Right you idiot. You only need to lose TWO POUNDS this week. D'you hear that? TWO POUNDS.' All week I had been teaming up with the angel on my shoulder to tell the devil on the other side to shove off. There was NOTHING on this planet that was going to stop me from getting to 100 lbs. That just was not allowed to happen. I tracked like I have never tracked and I did a quality control on my tracking by also, for one week and one week only, tracking my calories on my fitness pal. This was more to make sure that I wasn't jeopardising my weight loss chances by eating my entire daily allowance in mangoes on top of my daily points just because 'fruit is 'free' on weight watchers'. This is not the beginnings of me saying 'you must all stop eating fruit. Fruit's the devil' it was more a case of making sure I was as aware of what was going in my mouth as humanly possible.

Did you know that a newborn Dalmation weighs about a pound. That's 102 puppies lost.

Freshly cleaned the same weight watchers uniform I wore the week before- I was determined not to have any anomalous results because of a change of underwear thankyouverymuch. Head to the meeting and make my way through people going 'gosh, you've changed so much in one week' {umm...wut? You sure?}. Right then, if I already LOOK noticeably slimmer in one week this HAS to be it...the big 100. Sue (my leader) beamed at me as I handed over my card and stripped off the final superfluous clothing and pieces of jewellery (look kids, this is science...couldn't have any thing messing up that control group could I?!). Step on and wait. That's all you have to do. So I stepped on. Both Sue's and my eyes flew to the scale's monitor. 16 stone 7. Crap on a cracker...I lost four lbs. 102 lbs. Not only did I get over that next hurdle but I got some extra on top just to give me a clear margin.

A newbie asked for the before picture...here she is.

I sat in the meeting and zipped my lip. Not saying anything till I get picked on and then can make EVERYONE aware at the same time how good a weight watcher I am. Mwahahahaha. As it's currently awards season that was the theme. We were talking about successes. And much like Leonardo DiCaprio agonises every time he is up for an Oscar, I sat there heart racing as it became clear that Sue was picking on me last. In the moment I'd lost 102 lbs I became not only the most successful weight watcher in the room but also the most successful weight watcher at that meeting group. This, was something I did not know. I was sure that there were two women there who had gone over the 100 mark but nope- 7 stone was the most lost there. Crumbs.

And today, 102 lbs lighter.

'Florence, if this was your Weight Watchers Oscar's speech, who do you have to thank?' And I kid you not, the first thing I said was 'I want to thank the people who read my blog.' Regardless of how boring my topic is or how long it takes me to write something, I have people out there who read what I have to say, who send me emails and Facebook and Twitter messages to tell me they find me an inspiration or they simply like to know that they are not alone. And in doing so I remember that I too, am not alone in this. I will never be alone in this because all of you, from the ones I've known for years to the people I've never met, give me the drive to keep going until goal. We're coming up to two years together you all and I, and I can honestly say it's been the most fulfilling relationship I have ever had.

So, as my Oscars music comes around for the second time telling me to shut the hell up and get off stage, thank you. When I have my celebratory glass of Champagne tonight I will think of all of you in this with me.

Taking stock of 25%

As a retail professional...ahem, I know the value of 25% off. For example, if you came into my department and saw ONE DAY ONLY, Macs 25% OFF you would probably lose your shit because suddenly a Mac is almost the price of a 'normal' computer...almost. So, you can perhaps imagine how I felt last night as I was checking over my weight loss spreadsheet and noticed, quite to my surprise, that I had lost 25% of my original body weight. That's a quarter of a person gone. More than that, you can (again) imagine my surprise when I realised I had hit said milestone nearly a month ago. That's right, major goal post hit and I never even noticed.

So I figured, now that I have resolved some rather unfortunate computer issues (ironic, I now work in computers no?), that now was the time to really take stock and have a little blogging session whilst I procrastinate over reading about criminal and civil culpability. So here goes:

The last 9 weeks have had me on a high weight loss wise. I'm averaging about a pound and a half a week which is more than okay by me. They recommend a 1-2lb weekly weight loss for healthy, consistent and maintainable weight loss so being slap bang in the middle of that is pretty good. More than that, I had convinced myself that the slowing of my weight loss had just been an inevitable part of the weight loss machine. People start to slow down the more they lose so it was fine that I wasn't even averaging half a pound a week in the (literally) 12 months between September 2013 and September 2014. Something interesting I realised after doing some quick maths the other day (dangerous, I know). In the last 12 weeks I have lost 22.5 lbs. In another 3.5 lbs I will have lost more now than I did in that entire year long period between Sept 2013 and Sept 2014. That has to count for something.

I haven't had a gain in 10 weeks which is doing wonders for my positivity and there is a very real possibility that I will hit 90 lbs lost by Christmas. There's only 2.5 lbs to go and with every pound I move away from that dreaded 75, the more confident I get that I'm not going to get stuck again. As of last night's weight watchers meeting I'm less than a stone away from 100 lbs which is quite frankly unbelievable. I think, somewhere inside, I never thought I'd see triple digits and yet I can practically touch it it's so close now.

Simon Pegg and I, we understand each other.

So let's talk a bit about my current mental/emotional state shall we? I've spent a lot of this journey banging on about how important it is to be in the right head space but I haven't, in all honesty, been practicing what I preach. I've been a bit mean to myself at times really and I have spent so much time in the not so distant past criticising myself for rubbish losses rather than celebrating the fact that my weight is dropping, that is a huge ask for my body and yet every time I push it instead of just crapping out and giving up it tries to stand up to the challenges I have given it.

Yesterday, when I was with Jemma between double whips of the battle ropes I saw the light. I started this journey knowing that there were things I wanted to do when I was at a better weight. Theoretically, by the time I run the Milton Keynes Marathon in May I will no longer weigh too much to get on a horse. I will never again have to worry about the seat belt coming off on a roller coaster again...thank you for that experience theme park that shall remain nameless, I'll be able to take helicopter flying lessons. By this time next year I will, hopefully, be within touching distance of my goal weight and I will never again have to worry about the things I'm limited in doing because of my weight. And that, ultimately is why I'm doing this. I have already reclaimed control of my fears, I feel unstoppable and for the first time, probably ever, I feel like I can see the end of the tunnel. And I couldn't be more pleased.

Success comes in many sizes.

Dear all,

I have finished university. Well, not finished as such but dissertation is in, final pieces of work are done and I have two weeks of excavation work with my friends. So I'm considering it done. And I won't lie, that has been very weird. The process leading to this moment has also been EXTREMELY stressful and, as such, here is a late offering.

First, let's talk numbers. I am back averaging two pounds off per week (yay!) though I highly doubt that will happen this week because I have let my hair down and had a lot of fun in celebration of all of the hard work coming to an end. However, I'm not going to dwell on that because I have another success to discuss.

This is an open apology to Next about the quality/quantity of their plus size stuff. I was pleasantly surprised.

Yes friends. That is a next top in a size 18. Whilst this is hardly a golden ticket that enables me to buy stuff anywhere- I still can't exactly walk in pick anything off a shelf and buy it- this was a moment of success for me that literally had me crying in the changing room. Now, I won't lie, it's quite possible that the overall feeling of nostalgia and sentimentality over the last few weeks of my university career got to me (borderline breakdown on the M5 may or may not have happened) but regardless, size 18 is an enormous deal to me. 

I don't exactly remember the last time I could walk into a normal shop (read: not plus sized specific) and buy an item of clothing that was not held in their plus sized section. But one moment in particular comes to my memory but we have to go back a LONG time. As in, 14 years. 

I was with my friend Annabelle in Tunbridge Wells (I think) and I needed something to wear to our end of school party (this was in year six...which should just about sum up how long my weight has been an issue) and had already started to hate shopping. Nothing was in my size, I needed to go to a 'special' shop and hope that they had something that would fit my petite (read: 4 foot 9 size 14) frame. This was a nightmare, because I'm sure you can see that a 10 year old should not be wearing size 14. At this point I was not overly concerned with my weight for any health reasons. I just wanted to look nice. I had crushes on boys who would not (still don't...grumble grumble) fancy the fat girl and I wanted to prove them wrong. Anyhoo, back to Tunbridge Wells. I tried on a pair of jeans, I think in New Look- can't remember exact details, except that they were acid wash jeans and I thought I was such a boss. They were size 12 and when they did up (and I could sit down!) I cried in the changing room (apparently this is a theme for my life). I realised then that being 'normal' (at least where size was concerned) was important to me because I could already see how marginalised I was becoming. 

Anyway, I rocked those jeans at the end of year party. But Jack Brewer* still paid no attention to me. . . I won a CD for my dancing though, so swings and roundabouts. 

I'm not telling you this because I had some kind of dramatic flashback the other day in the changing room. It's just something I realised/remembered as I was typing. Hope you enjoyed that little story!

So yes, back to success. That was a success for me. But unlike my 10 year old self I'm not going to take that feeling and go and buy myself some milkybar choos (Oh My GOD did I love those) and complain about boys after spending hours imagining what my name would sound like if we got married. . .Instead, this is a mark to myself to keep going. Another size down and I CAN buy clothes from just about anyone. I'll probably cry in the changing room again. I'm sure you can't wait for that!

I'm still doing my daily selfies so remember to #followtheselfie if you're on twitter. And finally, to the people I've been running into the last few days from my time at university. It means SO much that you've been following my progress. I hope I can continue to make you proud. 

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity...Not that he'd read it.